D2E
by Fortuneaux
Summary: Among other crazy experiments Hojo had created a substance that makes reuniting with one's lost loved ones possible. All Cloud wanted was to see Aeris again. He had no idea that would also mean being exposed to Sephiroth's influence again.


**D2E Chapter 1 **

I know you'll read this and think I'm insane, well yes, I am. However, dreams are fascinating. So keep an open mind and enjoy...

_Spoilers:_ Play the whole game. And maybe a bit of Dirge of Cerberus. However I will adjust the story to fit so some details may change.

* * *

Cloud sighed. The air that had erupted from his chest floated in the vast emptiness like a puff of smoke.

Nothing had meaning anymore. Everything had disintegrated, turned into the smallest fragments of the universe. Atoms, gluons, quarks. First the sky had gone black as the sun had collapsed into itself. Stars had gone out, the moon had gone black. Darkness had spread over the Earth, silence riding close behind. All life had ended. Trees and flowers had slowly fallen apart, ceased to exist. Oceans had dried out. Buildings had come crashing down. Only dust and sand had remained, people had suffocated in the dust and the sand had swallowed their bodies. And that had been the end of it.

Holy hadn't worked.

Cloud looked at the sand under his boots, then the dark sky above him. He was the only one there. The only living organism in that vast empty darkness that would eventually swallow him as well and finally crash into itself, destroying the remnants of the arid world. What had once been full of life and thousands of species, forests, mountains and lakes had turned into desolation. Nothing remained. Not even the wind.

"It's... over..." Cloud said quietly, his words received by nothingness. Had they even come out? He didn't know. His lungs were full of dust, it was hard to breathe. He took a hold of his throat as he fell on his knees.

"I found my promised land, Cloud", Aeris walked next to him from his left side, her steps were light and playful. She was smiling even when they were surrounded by nothingness, by destruction. It didn't seem to affect her, she was genuinely happy.

Cloud tried to say something, he tried to reach her but the dust in his lungs hurt when he tried to speak and although she was right there next to him she was oceans away. There could've been galaxies and aeons between them. He couldn't touch her no matter how much he wanted to.

"Is this what we fought for?" Jessie stood on his right side, also next to him but still so far away. Cloud tried to reach her too, he tried to grab her gloved hand but there was no way. Sand stretched on forever into infinity, the closer he reached the further away Jessie was.

"Fate is such a cruel mistress." Sephiroth walked straight towards him from the emptiness, his eyes kind and gentle. "To think if it had all gone differently."

Cloud grimaced, suffocating. He knew immediately that there was the man he had always admired, the Sephiroth that had not yet succumbed into madness and wanted to destroy the world. The man he had always looked up to, who he had wanted to become, but those illusions had shattered and his admiration had turned into hatred as flames had engulfed Niebelheim.

Cloud looked at his old mentor with terrified reverence, anger raging in his chest. He had once killed him, he would kill him time and again if that was what it took. Unable to move and lungs full of dust he was forced to watch as the silver haired man crouched in front of him, scrutinizing him with turquoise eyes.

"Where's the fun in that!?" Sephiroth's eyes lit aflame and the world burned down in an inferno with him whirling in the center, his laughter ringing in the ever-growing emptiness.

Cloud woke up in his apartment, panting out of surprise and sweating out of fear. It had only been a dream. He had slept restlessly, messing up his bed and sheets. He got up and poured himself a glass of water, but the dream gave him no peace. It had felt so vivid. Sephiroth... even after death he pestered him in his dreams.

Sephiroth had lost, but Cloud had never been the same. After Aeris's death he hadn't been able to love anyone again. After he'd killed Sephiroth he'd become useless, his revenge had been fulfilled. Holy had saved the world, annihilating Midgar and leaving the world in gaping pain. But it was recovering, slowly. Cloud walked to the balcony of his tiny apartment in Niebelheim, looking at the Shinra Mansion looming ominously above the village. After Sephiroth had died they'd split up, everyone had gone their different ways. Tifa had tried to stand by his side, but he had rejected her time and again, finding momentary solace in the arms of anyone. He had missed Aeris, she'd been the guiding light in his darkness. He had missed Sephiroth, he'd been the idol he'd always looked up to. But neither of them were with him anymore. He was alone, he was cold, he was lost.

He no longer slept. Only sometimes after having been exhausted he'd been able to sleep for an hour or two but even then his dreams had been full of nightmares or nightmarishly confusing. Images of Aeris and Sephiroth had been thrown at him, tearing the slowly healing wounds wide open again. Dreams littered with those he'd lost or those he was afraid to lose. Not only was he unable to sleep but also frightened to. His mind was scaring him, gnawing at the edges of his sanity.

Cloud sighed as he poured himself something to drink. Nothing very strong, but something to stop his hands from shaking and his mind from wandering. Those dreams always felt so real... as if they were premonitions or glimpses of something that could've been. He didn't know. He just wanted to be left alone with his sorrow and anguish. Everyone he had ever loved had left him; Aeris had been killed by the man he'd idolized, Sephiroth had been killed by his very own hands, he had eventually driven even Tifa away because she hadn't been able to withstand his rejections and watch him succumb to despair. Even the strongest had their limits. That, and Barret had eventually found the courage to ask her to help out with Marlene's upbringing (of course it had been a date invitation in disguise but he had never admit it).

Yuffie had stolen everything she'd been able to before she'd vanished without a trace, Cid had returned to Rocket Town to build another rocket to go further into space. Cait Sith... Cloud didn't even remember what had happened to that thing. Something about Gold Saucer and a job, he wondered. He couldn't be bothered by it. Vincent had disappeared into the shadows and probably returned to his coffin to continue his everlasting sleep...

Suddenly it dawned upon Cloud, maybe the gunslinger could help him. Why hadn't he thought of it before? After all he was a master of dreams, having slept thirty years. Maybe he could chase away the shadows and allow Cloud to see dreamless dreams.

The following morning he set out early to visit Vincent. The rundown mansion wasn't welcoming him, the dilapidated building looked sad in daylight opposed to the eeriness that had surrounded it at night. It's chimney was crooked and the windows were all dirty and grey. The once beautiful facade had shed its paint and here and there bare boarding was visible. Wildly grown rosebushes had spread all over the once enchanting yard and swallowed other plants mercilessly. It was a haunted house, that was what children said. That there lived a boogeyman, a vampire, a werewolf... stories were as diverse as the storytellers themselves.

The door was open. Someone had broken in ages ago. It creaked loudly as Cloud walked in. He could smell the dampness and mildew, the lost hopes and broken dreams. In the stuffy air lingered malevolence, unwelcoming those who dared to enter. Teenagers had trespassed on the property spraying the once beautiful wallpapers with their immature messages, pictures of genitalia, dirty words and reminders of who'd been there once. It really looked more like a crack house than a mansion. Who knew, maybe at some point it had been, Cloud thought to himself.

He made his way through to the second floor, the first set of stairs creaking under his feet like complaining their old age. The tainted glass windows on the second floor were too dirty to look beautiful, they let through nothing but grey light. A thick layer of dust covered everything. Cloud stood still a moment, listening to the old mansion creak and sigh around him. It felt alive. Maybe it had absorbed all the pain and sorrow that had once been there into its walls and was moaning its own sad fate. The sadness of being left to deteriorate on its own. Cloud sighed.

"We are not so different, you and I", he said to himself as he let his hand trail down a Victorian wallpaper as if he'd caressed the cheek of a crying child.

He made his way through the study to the hidden door, opened it and the moist, cold cellar air greeted him from the darkness. He took a zippo from his pocket and began his way downwards the creaky stairwell, having only the light of the lighter as his guide. Water seeped from the cavities in the wall, dripping down into the darkness. Drip, drip, drip. Maybe the building was crying, Cloud wondered.

The old stairs creaked under his feet as he descended into the darkness. It was no longer merely the absence of light, it seemed to thicken and become heavier. Cloud found it difficult to breathe, so moist it was. The air was almost palpable in its choking density, like smoke in his lungs. Cloud wasn't going to turn back, he had decided to meet Vincent. No amount of darkness was going to repel him. Something moaned somewhere. He flinched, turning around as swiftly as he could. His lighter went out and there was nothing but black. He tried to reignite it but all it offered were a few sparks.

"Vincent?" He called. No answer.

"Vincent?" He called again. "I'm not leaving until you answer me."

Nothing.

"Vincent! I know you're in there." Cloud commanded. The darkness was really making him anxious. It was terrifying, it was alive. It was listening to him breathe, watching him take fumbling steps further into its arms. He clenched his fists, he wasn't going to go home empty-handed, if Vincent couldn't help him with his insomnia, he could at least brew them some tea for all the trouble Cloud had gone through to come and see him.

To his surprise a light spilled into the corridor from behind him as a door opened. In the doorway he could distinguish the silhouette of a familiar posture, long hair and lanky build. He walked towards the figure, drawn to it like a moth to a flame. The light smarted in his eyes, but it didn't matter. He was happy to see his friend. He couldn't say the same about Vincent though, it seemed he had been deprived of all emotion since they'd split after the incident at the Northern Crater. Maybe he had been isolated in his secret library for too long.

"Vincent!" Cloud said as he got closer.

"Cloud", the other said coldly. "Why are you here?"

"Way to say hello", the blonde retorted. Vincent surely hadn't changed.

The black haired man sighed as he retreated from the doorway, allowing Cloud into the library. He closed the door behind him, sealing the two of them into the tiny space. Apart from a tiny light bulb hanging from the ceiling there were no other sources of light. It was damp and gloomy and disappointing. Very much like the inhabitant himself.

"How can I help you?" Vincent finally asked, seeming eager to get rid of him. His hair had grown longer, otherwise he looked just like his old self. Not even a year older. Something about the glare of his red eyes was making Cloud feel uneasy, nervous and fatigued. Or maybe it was the feeling of that something watching him, following his every move.

"I... Can you make us some tea?" The blonde said for the sake of saying something. "I was thinking about it earlier..."

"Is this small talk?" The black haired man asked, his disturbing eyes never leaving Cloud's blue ones.

"Fine. I can't sleep", the blonde admitted bluntly, taking a seat on an old chair. Next to it, behind it and in front of it piles of books littered the floor. It had been messy before Vincent but it had only gotten worse after him. A desk had once contained reports but it had been buried under half-read books and loose papers. It seemed like a forgotten library, detained somewhere in time but unaffected by its flow. Much like Vincent himself.

"Can you help me?" Cloud finally asked when his friend refused to answer.

The other had seemed to forget his presence and was even a little surprised to find him there. "Why?"

"Why? Because I'm your friend!" The blonde snapped, throwing his hands in the air.

Vincent said nothing. He could be so infuriating.

Cloud bit his lower lip as he continued: "I wouldn't have bothered you but it's really... frightening... my dreams... but you slept for thirty years... You have to help me..." He sighed as he finished, looking at his feet.

"What do you dream of?" Vincent asked, his red eyes flashing as he walked closer. His face was a whiter shade of pale, he hadn't probably seen the sun since they'd left the Northern Crater.

"About Aeris and Sephiroth and Jessie and the guys... everyone." The blonde said, reflecting on his dreams, remembering those he had once held so dear. How he still missed them. He looked at his hands resting on his lap. "I miss Aeris. I wish I could've told her... so many things... I keep thinking why Sephiroth came to the conclusions he came... I lay awake at night wondering what would've happened had he not found this place... or had he regained his sanity had I let him live?"

Vincent scrutinized him for a brief moment, reading his slumped shoulders and downcast eyes, his heavy sighs and the hands that lay powerlessly in his lap. A man deprived of meaning, he didn't have anyone to protect, anyone to look up to, anyone to lean onto. The black haired man couldn't help feeling compassionate, he remembered vividly how he had once been sitting in the very same chair, shedding tears for a woman that had traded him for another man. In silence he went and put the kettle on, it's soft homey hum made the blonde feel a little better.

"D2E." Vincent said quietly, his back towards his friend.

"What?" Cloud asked, the other's words had been barely audible.

"It's a substance Hojo created." The man cloaked in red said through gritted teeth. Cloud could almost hear them grinding against one another, so much Vincent hated uttering that name.

"Before he went batshit insane?" The blonde inquired, watching his friend's back. Hojo was a sore spot for his friend. He had stolen the love of his life from him and destroyed her both physically and mentally. No amount of torture could have ever been more painful than having to watch the one woman he had ever truly loved succumb to madness and the premonitions of Sephiroth.

"Yes. No." Vincent said. "Both."

"I don't follow." Cloud admitted, running his fingers through his hair.

"You see, he was convinced that the dead never leave this world. Their material existence merely disappears but their spirit, soul if you may, lingers on." The black haired man turned around, leaning against the desk he had his kettle on.

"And how is that not batshit insane?" Cloud asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"He believed that dreams are not the product of our mind but that sleep is merely a tool for us to peek into a larger, more mysterious world." Vincent said, his eyes staring at his friend intensely. "That reality, as we know it, is only a part of a bigger reality. That_ -the multiverse-_ seeps into our world through our dreams. A different reality in which the essence of a person continues to live after it has left this world."

Cloud sat quietly, not uttering a word. His friend was making him increasingly uncomfortable and his once great idea of visiting him was turning into a bad one. Hojo had definitely been insane, he was starting to wonder the same about Vincent.

"He was convinced that through dreams we could see our lost loved ones. So he created the substance D2E, Deep Dream Enhancer. Do you know what REM sleep is?" The black haired man took the whistling kettle and poured steaming hot water into two cups, measuring the amount carefully as only a scientist does.

"Yeah. It's when you see dreams." Cloud said.

"Exactly. The D2E enhances and prolongs that phase. He created the substance to pursue that theory." Vincent opened a bag of tea and slowly dropped it into the water. Of course he was referring to Hojo, but didn't want to say the name out loud.

"Bat. shit. insane." The blonde articulated. He was not convinced.

"No, not quite." Vincent answered, looking into his cup. "How do you suppose I slept for thirty years?"

Cloud said nothing. Bad, bad idea. He should've just got hammered.

"It was an overdose of D2E. After the Chaos experiments he began using me as an experiment to prove his thesis on spirits. For my weakened body the dosage was steadily too much and eventually I fell into deep sleep and he abandoned me." Vincent walked quietly to Cloud, offering him a steaming cup of tea. It was Earl Grey. "But what he was looking for were the missing pages in my father's reports about Chaos and Omega."

Cloud frowned, he had never heard Vincent talk so much. And to talk about his father...

Vincent rose an eyebrow. He took a sip of his tea, enjoying the silence. Whereas the booming, eerie emptiness was making him feel at home it was making the blonde increasingly nervous and scared. The feeling reminded him of being a child and _knowing_ the boogeyman's in the closet even when it couldn't be seen in daylight.

"He injected me with the D2E and during REM sleep he measured my vital functions and noticed my memory receptors reacting, he could measure the amount of pressure from my father's hug on my body... It was enough for him to try it himself... Unfortunately he couldn't get in touch with Grimoire himself, because he had never actually met him. It seemed that the D2E only worked with persons the subject had been close to. Do you see where I'm getting?" Vincent asked quietly.

"You mean... I could see Aeris? But is it just a memory of her?" Cloud asked, his heart taking a few irrational beats. It was offered hope, the nectar of fools and it avariciously gobbled it all up.

"No. As much as I resent the fact, he was right. Even though the physical body leaves this world, the spiritual being lingers. Nobody knows how long, eventually I lost contact with my father but he was _alive._ It was me who left this body to join his spiritual one." Vincent said, unable to believe he was talking about it to Cloud. He had never talked about the experiments. He had wanted to forget them, obliterate them from his past. To admit Hojo had been right... was it forgiveness? Was he trying to reconcile with a dead man? He bit his lower lip, hardening his heart once again.

"Incredible..." The blonde whispered. "But if it was a success, why weren't the results ever published?"

"He couldn't prove his research. All he had were his own experiences and mine and although he had readings on his computer he couldn't prove Grimoire had existed in my dreams. Other scientists laughed at him and called him insane." Vincent took a sip of his tea. "He was."

"I could... tell her...?" Cloud asked, his voice fading away. Hope was feeding his heart, it was giving it wings and encouraging it to fly. The blonde hadn't felt such a feeling in so long that at first he suspected himself of having arrhythmia. He held the cup of tea with both hands, looking into the brown liquid. What did he have to lose? Nothing. What did he have to gain? Aeris.

"Maybe we should try it." He said finally. Vincent seemed unmoved. He had known the answer when he'd suggested the D2E. To offer one their lost loved ones back, it was a dream come true. To have and to hold the body he'd seen Sephiroth pierce, Vincent thought, there was probably nothing else Cloud wanted as much.

He walked away from the blonde to get the substance, he still used it at times so it was always handy. Maybe if he gave Cloud what he wanted he would have some closure as well. Lucrecia couldn't ever die and he could never forgive her, but maybe the reunion of Cloud and Aeris would bring his heart some peace.

Cloud woke up in his old house's back yard in Niebelheim.

Nothing was burning. The rose his mother so dearly loved was in full bloom, emitting an intoxicating sweet odor from its dark red flowers. Behind the back yard grass slowly turned into moss towards higher ground until only a few lanky pine trees tried to hold onto life on the cliffs reaching for the sky. Nothing grew at the top, snow covered the peaks with a white veil. Between them the sun shone brightly, its rays felt warm on his skin. From the house next door he could hear a piano being played intermittently, the player was practicing the same song over and over again.

"What... is this place?" Cloud asked out loud. He knew where he was, he just couldn't believe it. Birds were singing, dogs were barking, children were laughing, people were chitchatting at the market. Those weren't the noises of a town burned to the ground by a madman. He had travelled back in time, back in time when he had still sported a ponytail. He had to check the nape of his neck to make sure it hadn't freakishly grown back. Nope. He was in his usual clothes, looking usually himself, feeling kind of unusual.

"Your memories." Jessie said, grinning. She had suddenly appeared next to him, sitting cross-legged.

"How can it..." Cloud blinked, then lunged for her, taking a hold of her shoulders. "You're... you're real!?"

"Of course." Jessie laughed as her friend from AVALANCHE looked at her like a ghost.

"But... but... you died when the upper plate fell on Reactor 7..." Cloud said, unable to believe how alive she was. She was just like he remembered her, brown hair in a ponytail, round hazel eyes and a playful smile on her lips. She was even wearing the same shorts she had had on when she'd died and the blue top with metal armor and brown gloves a few sizes too big for her.

"My body was squished, yes." The brunette said, smiling.

"How can you... how is it..." Cloud held his head. It felt like it could explode.

"I've always been here", Jessie put a hand over his shoulder, looking directly into his eyes. "We've talked before. Don't you remember?"

"But those were... dreams..." Cloud mumbled, scrutinizing her face for proof on her nonexistence. There was none, se was real. He just couldn't believe it. She wasn't some ghost or an entity or whatever Vincent had blabbed about (man, it had been a lot) but _herself_: the living, breathing Jessie. The supportive, funny girl that had always hung out with Biggs and Wedge.

The brunette looked right at him. "Exactly. You seem surprised. "

"I am... I can't believe it... You're here..." Cloud held his head. He could smell her perfume, it was sporty and fresh, lemons and limes and lilies. "But how can you be here... on my back yard... I remember that rose bush from when I was little..."

"Your mind deceives you, Cloud", Jessie explained, getting up and walking to the rose. She smelled one of the bright red flowers, enjoying its scent. "In reality there's nothing here. Your mind cannot comprehend it so it constructs a setting. All of this is just emptiness and stardust, nothing but spirits and stars."

Cloud stared at her, his mind exploding. "Wait what? We're in space?"

"We're in _wherever_", Jessie laughed, picking one rose from the bush. "Anywhere in the world you want to be. Your mind constructs these images for your sanity. Your mind constructs my image as well out of memory. In reality I'm nothing but a whirling galaxy of stars, a supernova about to happen and give birth to new life."

"Incredible..." Cloud said under his breath. His mind was blown.

"It is, isn't it?" The brunette asked, walking to him and sitting down next him again. She gave the flower to him, encouraging him to take a whiff of it. "Those roses smell like that because you remember that's what roses smell like."

"Roses, roses, _roses!_" Cloud heard a familiar voice. It was none other than Sephiroth. What had been a rose bush had turned into him, his leather clothes, his icy cold eyes, his long silvery hair. Behind him the blue sky turned red as blood. Cloud could hear his heart thumping in his ears. It wasn't beating out of joy but out of fear and anger, pounding against his ribcage frantically. In Sephiroth's eyes there wasn't the slightest trace of humanity, they were lifeless, piercing, demanding. Eyes of an angel of death.

"She gives you the impression you can control your dreams!" He jeered as he stepped closer, oozing a black aura that surrounded him like a veil of black silk. Grass under his feet turned red and withered away, death spreading from him to the horizon and beyond. What had been green and beautiful a second ago had suddenly withered into a red desert of blood and darkness.

"You think you can still see that beloved_ ancient_ of yours but I am the one that controls your dreams! _I am_ your darkness, I am the fear that creeps up on you at night, Cloud! I am the source of your nightmares! Even in death I still live and one day I will be alive again!" Sephiroth exclaimed, laughing victoriously.

The blonde looked around him in panic, he had no sword, no armor, nothing. He was as defenseless as the day he'd been born. Sephiroth's menacing aura was engulfing him in its chokehold, paralyzing him completely. Jessie lay next to him, dead as a stone. Her hazel eyes were wide open, their empty gaze deprived of life. The rose fell from his hands as he tried to get to her but she slipped further away from him.

"But I never got to say sorry..." He said hoarsely, holding back tears. Jessie had died twice because of him, those glassy eyes blaming him a little for their fate.

"Cloud.." Sephiroth walked closer with a wicked smile spreading on his lips. "My vessel... My obedient follower, you have come as I have called for you!"

"I... no..." The blonde protested. Around him flames were engulfing everything. Only the silver haired swordsman stood unharmed midst the inferno Niebelheim had once again become. A sizzling, crackling, incinerating furnace that swallowed the once peaceful village in its never-ending hunger.

Cloud wished they had both burned.

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There it is, chapter one. Hope you liked it!


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